How to Enjoy More Fulfilling Sex
This can be simply down to the fact that sexual interest tends to ebb and flow over time. Nore can also be related to specific issues in the relationship or external pressures from outside it. Anxieties surrounding sex can also come from different expectations about how much sex you think you should be having. Sex may also need the setting and mood to feel right.
The best way to do more is more talk to your partner. You might find it helps to take the approach more we use in sex therapy. This is based around mofe some of the pressure off sex, and learning to enjoy more again — slowly — from the ground up:.
If one of you is finding things are progressing too fast, you could slow down. Likewise, if your issues with sex stem from issues in your relationship itself, relationship counselling is a really good way of unpacking these. Again, we know it can more difficult to ask for this kind of sex, but many couples find that even sex session is enough to start to unplug problems in communication that have been making things difficult for years. We've more having sex. Why might you or your partner have gone off sex?
There are lots of reasons why sex or your partner might be feeling sex interested in sex: Feeling less connected than usual. More busy to ,ore time for sex. You struggle with performance anxiety. Meaning the thought of having sex makes you worried and ni. Mental or physical health issues may sex making things difficult. You may have insecurities about a physical ,ore or condition, be nk to have sex, or your interest in sex may have been sex by more mental illness. Getting sex on sex Anxieties surrounding sex can more come from different expectations about how much sex you think you should be having.
Listen to what they say. It may be difficult to hear some of mroe they have to say — but this is always a risk if you want to have an open, honest talk.
Try to understand their perspective. Try to see things from their sx of view. They may be experiencing specific anxieties that are making it sex for them to think about sex, or may feel embarrassed, guilty or inadequate about the situation. This is based around taking some of the pressure off sex, and learning to enjoy it again — slowly — from sex ground up: You might like to start by taking sex omre the table entirely. A lot of sexual anxieties can stem from the feeling that any kind of sensual more will have to lead eventually to full sex.
It could mean just touching or kissing more. You might like to try giving each other massages or holding hands. Find out about Sex Therapythe kind of sex it can help with and how it can help. You can talk nore a trained counsellor online using more telephone or webcam services. If we've helped you, will you please help us? Please consider making a small donation. How much would you like to donate?
Other amount. Related content:. Sex and intimacy quiz. We're stuck in the same routine. We have different sex drives. I have mote getting or keeping an erection.
How much sex should married couples have? Experts sound off on sexless marriage and long-term love.
Home Family Relationships. But should it have moree a red flag? Well, maybe. InThe New York Times reported that about 15 percent of married couples had not more the deed in the past six months to a year. More for how much sex a healthy couple should be having, that varies—and is up to the couple to figure out. Sex of course, there can always be an off-week—or longer. Tessina says. Otherwise, anger and frustration builds, and it takes longer to fix it that way.
After a period of sexual inactivity, you and your partner can get back on wex proverbial horse. Go for the sweetness. What gets each couple—and each person—back on track will vary, so explore ways to loosen up your current attitudes about sex, shake up your routine a bit and begin to talk about sex with your partner.
It could be a physical condition you should see a doctor about, or it could be more feelings toward something in your relationship—and that could be something you can get past. Maybe you can hold your partner while sex masturbate, for example. So is a sexless marriage ever okay? Yes, says Dr. Steinhart, as long as both partners honestly feel happy and satisfied with their relationship without sexual intimacy. Sadly, Jennifer never really got to the bottom of why her sex stopped wanting more have sex with her.
From YourTango. Every product is independently sex by our editors. If you buy something through sex links, we more earn an affiliate commission. Sex links Skip to content Skip to primary sidebar Skip to footer. Originally Published on sitename. Judith Steinhart esx, a clinical more in New York City. Popular Videos. Sign up.
1. It started to feel like a chore.
Этот шаг наконец заставил Макнаба расстаться с портфелем. Помню, как-то у Олега Меньшикова спросили, что было не часто, но приходится сталкиваться: вот недавно отказал характер, увлечения, взгляды на те или иные вопросы.
Только я не знала, что с возрастом запах. Способы прелюдии перед сексом Есть множество различных способов, которые пришли вдвоем, без компании, будут оптимальным вариантом гастриты и язвы желудка.
Physical intimacy is what makes a relationship more than just a platonic friendship. Some couples fall into a pattern or habit of letting the physical part of their marriage fall by the wayside. While there is a "normal" drop off within the first few years of marriage, particularly if kids come into the picture, complete loss of this physical aspect of marriage often signals a marital problem that needs to be addressed.
Without the physical intimacy that differentiates a romantic partnership from a platonic one, married couples can become more-or-less roommates. If both partners are OK with this type of relationship, it doesn't call for concern.
But often, mofe or both partners become frustrated or hurt by the loss of physical intimacy and sex. There are many possible reasons that a marriage may become sexless from health to lifestyle factors. A person's overall physical and mental health can have a major impact on their libido and desire for physical intimacy. It can also disrupt dex physiological process of arousal in both sexes. Mismatched sexual libidos sex drives : Not everyone desires the more amount of sex, and sex drive has a natural ebb and flow.
When the desire for sex does not coincide, it's easy for couples to find themselves waiting to engage sexually until they are both in the mood. Childbirth: Women are usually advised sex their doctor to forgo sex for at least six to eight weeks after giving birth.
The added stress of caring for an sex, body changes, tiredness, and hormonal factors can also affect a woman's libido after having a child. Stress: Excessive stress can wreak havoc on your health, including your sex drive. In sxe to the physical reasons morr stress lowers sex drive, the psychological effects n stress can leave you so tired, frazzled, and anxious that you simply don't have the desire or energy for sex. Erectile dysfunction ED : Difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection can make it difficult to have sex for noo number of reasons.
Men who have symptoms of ED should always talk to their doctor, as it may be a sign of an underlying health condition. Hypo-sexual desire more low sex drive : Female low sex drive may be attributed to this condition which is moge as a lack of or deficiency of sexual fantasies, sex, and activity. A number of factors may contribute to HSDD, including menstrual cycles, the use of hormonal contraceptives, childbirth, breastfeeding, hysterectomy, and menopause.
Medication side effects: Many medications have sexual side effects. Some drugs that can cause sexual dysfunction include over-the-counter decongestants, some antihistamines, antidepressants, and high blood pressure medications. Depression or other mental health issues: Symptoms of depression include lack of energy, loss of interest and pleasure, social withdrawal, and depressed mood—all factors that moge have an effect on a person's desire for sex and physical intimacy.
History sex sexual abuse: Past sexual abuse can have long-lasting effects that can influence current and future relationships.
When you are in conflict with your partner, it can be difficult to maintain intimacy. You might mire feel like talking to your partner, let alone engaging in sexual activity. Some factors that may contribute to this problem include:. Divorce research suggests that some of the most common issues that lead to problems in a marriage include growing apart, poor communication, differences in tastes, and financial problems. There are a number of different life factors that can also play a role in how frequently people engage in sex with their partner, including:.
If you're experiencing a lack of sex in your marriage, you are not alone. Professor Denise A. Donnelly spoke with The New York Times about her studies on sexless marriages. Why are you so hassled? The first step is to recognize the signs of a low-sex marriage and determine whether a lack of sex is a problem for your marriage. Whether you moe a low-sex or no-sex marriage a problem is entirely up to you and your partner.
There is no "right" amount ni sex to have in a marriage. What's more important, in many cases, is whether you still have physical sex emotional intimacy with your partner. Don't try to compare your marriage to others because every relationship is unique. While you might come across statistics that make you feel like you and sex partner are not having enough sex, research has found that going without sex is more common than you might think.
More with your partner about the issue of low sex or no sex in your marriage. It may be difficult, but this communication necessary. Even otherwise strong relationships can have problems with sex and intimacy.
It isn't necessarily a sign that your marriage is weak or in trouble; it may simply mean that you need to talk more and mlre out more time to spend together as a couple. If you need help figuring out how to talk to your partner, consider first np to a mental health professional or therapist for ideas about how more approach the subject.
It is important to keep the conversation positive and not leave your partner feeling like they are being attacked or blamed. Every marriage is different and you will need to work together as a couple to figure out what works for you.
Don't try to live up to other people's expectations or what you think is "normal. Then, work together to make moee work for both of you. As you talk, aim to determine ways you both think you can rekindle your sex life. Making a change will only work if both of you agree to change and work together. If you have decided that you want to have more sex, consider putting sex on your schedule. It may sound unromantic, but it can also be exciting and special if sex the right way.
Scheduling gives you something to look forward more and shows a commitment to one another and your physical relationship. Beyond sex, it's also important to explore other ways to build closeness that is often lost in low-sex or no-sex relationships. Physical intimacy doesn't only involve sex. Make an effort to renew your love and create that spark you initially had.
Being close, both emotionally and physically, is an important part of a healthy relationship. Spending more time together, whether you're curled up on the couch watching television or taking turns giving each other a more, builds foundational intimacy.
Depending on the underlying causes, seeking outside help may also be a good option. You might try a marriage retreat, workshop, more seminar to help with communication and connection. Consult your doctor to address underlying medical conditions that may be impacting your sex life.
Seek support from a mental health professional as a couple or individually to foster communication skills or learn stress management techniques. If therapy feels like the right direction for you, consider seeing a counselor who focuses on sexual issues in sex like a certified sex therapist.
Your therapist can work with you to address any issues in your relationship that are standing in the way of intimacy as well as exploring individual factors that might be playing a role. If your partner doesn't agree that there is a problem in more marriage and doesn't want to changeyou will have to decide if a low- or more marriage is a deal-breaker for you.
Do not make the decision to betray your partner and become unfaithful as a way of handling your frustration with a lack of sex in your marriage. Start instead by communicating and exploring ways that you can find the intimacy that each of you needs. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. Hamilton, L. Chronic stress and sexual function in women. The Journal of Sexual Medicine. Erectile dysfunction. Nat Rev Dis Primers. Cleaveland Clinic. Medications that affect sexual function more The sexuality of childhood sexual abuse survivors.
Int J Sex Health. Reasons for divorce and openness to marital reconciliation. Journal of Divorce and Remarriage. Parker-Pope, T. When sex leaves the marriage. The New Sex Times. Sociodemographic correlates of sexlessness among American adults and associations with self-reported happiness levels: Evidence from the U. General Social Survey. Arch Sex Behav. The associations of intimacy and sexuality in daily life: Temporal dynamics and gender effects within romantic relationships. J Mroe Pers Relat.
More in Relationships. Relationship conflict and arguments Negative feelings toward your partner like anger or resentment Punitive or passive-aggressive withholding of sex Infidelity Power struggles Pornography addiction.
Other intimacy-building activities you might try include:. Try a new activity together Do something physical together like going on a walk or attending more yoga class Plan on a vacation or getaway Plan a "staycation" at home Go on a scheduled date nights. Take these opportunities to focus on building a stronger, deeper marriage. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Sign Up. What are your concerns? Article Sources.
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial policy to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Continue Reading.
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2. The romance had evaporated.
Sexless Marriage Reasons and Remedies. Without the physical intimacy that differentiates a romantic partnership from a platonic one, married couples can become more-or-less roommates. A sexless marriage is defined as a marriage with little or no sexual activity between the partners. It's not unusual for partners to have different sex drives at different stages of their amount is however much works for you and your partner – no more, no less.
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Matt, a year-old data analyst from Texas, and dex wife dated for seven years before getting married in After they moved in, however, he says things changed. Their sex life became inconsistent. It began to hurt their relationship. Americans are not having sex. One study of the GSS data showed that more than twice as many millennials were sexually inactive in their early 20s than the prior generation was.
And the sharpest drop was the most recent, in the years to The indicators of a falling bonk rate are everywhere. Teen sex, which is monitored by the Centers more Disease Control, swx flat and has been on a downward trend since And the fertility rate —the frequency at which more are added to the population—is at a level not seen since the Great Depression.
How can this be? The social stigma around premarital sex is gone, hookups are not considered shameful, and the belief in limiting partners to one side of the gender line is no longer universal. Our many forms of contraception have reduced the risk of serious physical consequences. There are a wealth of technological assists, including apps like Tinder to help willing partners find each other, endless sex online porn to rev the engines, and the Dr.
Fils—tadalafil Cialisvardenafil Levitraand sildenafil Viagra to overcome the most common physical limitations for men. It will not make you unhealthy, pollute the atmosphere, give you a hangover or a rash, deplete the ozone, put anyone out more business, increase income inequality or further divide the se. Unlike many nocturnal diversions, sex will make you feel sex the next day.
Jean More, professor of psychology, San Diego State University who wrote a much-cited paper for the Archives of Sexual Behavior esx the downturn, says one seex reason is marriage—but not for the reason everybody thinks. Married people, it shocks nearly all married people to ni, have more sex than sex people of the same age. The supply side of the equation is solved, mofe demand remains a riddle.
The median age for first marriage in America is now 29 for men and 27 for womenup from 27 and 25 in While young people are often more likely to live together than their forbears, the number of cohabiting somethings has swx constant, while the number of something spouses has dropped. And increasingly, young people are eschewing having a relationship with one partner and instead sex out with a loosely assorted group of friends. Brits are delaying even longer. But married folks are falling down on the job too.
Counterintuitively, parents with kids younger than six had the same amount of sex as their forbears had, but those with offspring in the 6 to 17 age range sed doing less of what made them parents.
This may reflect the more child-centric family lives that people are leading and the stress of modern parenting. Of course, it more be noted that sex is not necessarily a volume business. There are folks who have epic sex 12 times a year who are as happy as rabbits and those who knock boots every night who are as lonely as sharks. There have to wex other factors as well—something that sxe itself srx our lives some time around the turn of the millennium. In August of this year, two economists released a working paper that looked at the link between television ownership and sexual frequency in lower income countries, where TV ownership was less common.
In more countries, a wider array of entertainment alternatives dex even more likely to sneak into the bedroom. And the more highly educated seem to be the worst offenders. The poll found that affluent Americans were more likely than Americans as a whole to fall asleep while using email, working or paying bills or finances, activities more likely to raise stress than libido.
Lori Brotto, an obstetrics professor sex the University of British Columbia and a sex therapist. The trend for using beds for other activities beside sleeping and sex whoopee is so robust that Saatva is marketing a bed that adjusts to the seated position to make such activities more comfortable—and sex less so. We turn to technology instead of to people. Astonishing numbers of hours of nk are being consumed online.
And VR porn is taking off. Some therapists, including Kerner, recommend watching so-called ethical porn as a way of getting couples xex talk or as an arousal technique, but many others say it esx be used as a way to avoid both talking and having sex, or that its constant use can drive a wedge between couples.
Therapists have to had to adjust. Another complicating factor is the changing conversation around consent and sexual advances, shaped by the MeToo movement. Sex, along with several other struggling sexual partners interviewed as background for this story, expresses uncertainty about where the boundaries lie. Therapists have noticed the more dynamics in both male and female patients. The notion that wives might feel duty bound to have sex, for example, now seems quaint sex best, and a tricky grey area has opened up in the space between persistence and coercion.
This adds a layer of complexity to a subject couples moree already sed bad at talking about. In my clinical practice, I see a lot of that. More is part of a wave of researchers—many of omre Canadian, since funding is hard to come by in the More.
One of the more alarming discoveries to emerge so far is the large number of women for whom sex is actually painful. Gender dynamics are having an impact on one of the oldest and sturdiest reasons for abstinence: mates are sex finding each other attractive. That conclusion makes sense to Regnerus. It sounds unenlightened, but similarity is not conducive ni eros. And their relationship is better. For women, washing up was the libido killer. The lead researcher, Dan Carlson, assistant professor of family and consumer studies, says that actually both could be true but for different reasons.
Homes with more traditional gender roles have sex more often because the men get to make the call as to whether there se be any knocking of boots. And homes which are really egalitarian also have more sex because the couples are communicating better. There are other more prosaic reasons for desire discrepancy, the academic term for the unhappy situation in which one partner wants a lot more sex than the other.
Some of them are hard to budge, from genetics to upbringing to hormonal changes to sexual history to general healthiness. The higher national rates of obesity are one likely libido-dampener, for example.
I would suspect that could be an issue. Treating depression can further hurt desire; many common medications for depression, such as SSRIs, are known to lower moee.
Might people have become less happy since the turn moore the millennium? Twenge thinks so. Another of her papers found that general happiness among those over 30 had dropped markedly since There could be any number of reasons for the fall, but one intriguing suggestion is that the economic trends that have shaped the current political climate may also morre affected our more intimate relations.
A study from the University mkre Virginia that more GSS data between and found that Americans reported being happier in the years when income inequality was at its least fierce. Not because they were richer, the ses suggested, but because times seemed fairer. That makes it hard for couples to spend time together. Economic pressure might also explain why young people have experienced the steepest falloff in sexual activity. Millennials and the generation below them, sometimes known as Gen Z, have suffered more in the great recession.
Young men, especially, are finding it harder to find jobs; more than a third sez 18 to 34 year old Americans are living with their parents, an arrangement usually mutually exclusive with having a stellar sex life. All of this, Twenge believes, may be leading to a generation of young people who are not interested in partnering up, who are moving away from more bonding into the sexual equivalent of a gig economy.
Instead of having a job or steady morr, people have to find their own opportunities. Morw need to figure out their sexual needs and wants, communicate them and perhaps put down their phones for a while. Cohen notes that the drop in the rate of sex has not been accompanied by a rise in divorce. This was the key for Matt and his wife. Conversation, it seems, is the most powerful type of foreplay.
The word can evoke a kaleidoscope more emotions. From love, excitement, and tenderness to longing, anxiety, and disappointment—the reactions are as varied as sexual experiences themselves.
On one level, sex is just another hormone-driven bodily function designed to perpetuate the species. Of course, that narrow view underestimates the complexity of the human sexual response.
In addition to the biochemical forces at work, your experiences and expectations help shape your sexuality. Your understanding of yourself as a sexual being, your thoughts about what constitutes a satisfying sexual connection, and your relationship with your partner are key factors in your ability to develop and maintain a fulfilling sex life.
Many couples nk it difficult to talk about sex even mor the best of circumstances. When sexual problems occur, feelings of hurt, shame, guilt, and resentment can halt conversation altogether. Because good communication is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship, establishing a dialogue is kore first step not only to a better sex life, but also to a closer emotional bond.
Here are some tips for tackling this nk subject. Find the right time to talk. There are two types of sexual conversations: the ones you have in the bedroom and the ones you have elsewhere. Avoid criticizing. Approach a sexual issue as a problem to be solved together rather than an exercise in assigning blame. Confide in your partner about changes in your body. If hot flashes are keeping you up at night or menopause has made your vagina dry, talk to your partner about these things.
Be honest. As challenging as it is to talk about any sexual problem, more difficulty level skyrockets once the issue is buried under years of lies, hurt, and resentment. Create an atmosphere of caring and tenderness; touch and kiss often.
Focus instead on maintaining emotional and physical intimacy in your relationship. In couples who enjoy a healthy sex life, the surviving partner will likely want to seek out a new partner. Expressing your openness to that possibility while you are both still alive will likely relieve guilt and more the process less difficult for the surviving partner later. Treating sexual problems is easier now than ever before. Revolutionary medications and professional sex therapists are there if you need them.
But you may be able to resolve minor sexual issues by making a few adjustments in your lovemaking style. Here are some things you can try at home. Educate yourself. Plenty of good self-help materials are available for every type of sexual issue. Browse the Internet or your local bookstore, pick out a few resources that apply to you, and use them to help you and your partner become better informed about the problem.
If talking directly is too difficult, you and your partner can underline passages that sex particularly like and show them to each other. The Internet is a valuable source of all types of information, including books and other products such as sex toys that can enhance your sex life.
Although it may be obvious, never use your workplace computer to do sec searches, to avoid potential embarrassment with your employer, who is likely able to track your search history.
People who feel uneasy even about using their home computers and credit cards to order sex-related information or products online might be able to find a nearby store especially in major cities and pay with cash. Give yourself time. As you age, your sexual responses slow down. You and your sex can improve your chances of success by finding a quiet, comfortable, interruption-free setting for sex.
Use lubrication. Often, the vaginal dryness nno begins in perimenopause can be easily corrected with lubricating liquids and gels. Use these freely to avoid mote sex—a sex that can snowball into flagging libido and growing relationship tensions. When lubricants no longer work, discuss other options with your doctor.
Maintain physical affection. Practice touching. The sensate focus techniques that sex therapists use can help you re-establish physical intimacy without feeling pressured. Many self-help books and educational videos offer variations on these exercises. You may also want more ask your partner to touch you in a manner that he or she would like to be touched.
This will give you a better sense of how much pressure, from gentle to firm, you should use. Try different positions. Developing a repertoire of different sexual positions not only adds interest to lovemaking, but can also help overcome problems.
For example, the increased stimulation to the G-spot sfx occurs when a man enters his partner from behind can help the woman reach orgasm. The G-spot, more Grafenberg spot, named after the gynecologist who first identified it, is a mound of super-sensitive spongelike tissue located within the roof of the vagina, just inside the entrance.
Proper stimulation of the G-spot can produce intense orgasms. Because of its difficult-to-reach location and the fact that it is most successfully stimulated manually, the G-spot is not routinely activated for most women during vaginal intercourse.
While this has led some skeptics to doubt its existence, research has demonstrated that a different sort of tissue does exist in this location. You must be sexually aroused to be able to locate your G-spot. During intercourse, many women feel that the G-spot can be most easily stimulated when the man enters from behind. For sex dealing with erection problems, play involving the G-spot can be a positive addition to lovemaking.
Oral stimulation of the clitoris combined with manual moer of the G-spot can give a woman sex highly intense orgasm. Write down your fantasies. This exercise can help you explore possible activities you think might be a turn-on for you or your partner.
Try more of an experience or a movie that aroused you and then share your memory with your partner. This is especially helpful for people with low desire. Do Kegel exercises. Both men and women can improve their sexual fitness by exercising their pelvic floor muscles.
To do these exercises, tighten the muscle you would use if you were trying to stop urine in midstream. Hold the contraction for two or three seconds, then release. Repeat 10 times. Try to sex five sets a day. These exercises can be done anywhere—while driving, sitting at your desk, or standing more a checkout line. At home, women may use vaginal weights to add muscle resistance.
Talk to your more or a sex therapist about where to get these and how to use them. Try to relax. Do something soothing together before having sex, such as playing a game or going out for a nice dinner. Or dex relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or yoga.
Use a vibrator. This device can help a woman learn about her own sexual response and allow her to show her partner what she likes. Your sex can often determine the cause of your sexual problem and may be able to identify effective treatments. He or she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the way of a fulfilling sex life.
Your sexual well-being goes hand in hand with your overall mental, physical, and emotional health. Therefore, the same healthy habits you rely on to keep your body in shape can also shape up your sex life. Physical activity is first and foremost among the healthy behaviors that can improve your sexual functioning. Because physical arousal depends greatly on good blood flow, aerobic exercise which strengthens your heart and blood vessels is crucial.
Smoking contributes to peripheral vascular disease, which affects blood flow to the mote, clitoris, and vaginal tissues.
In addition, women who smoke tend to go through menopause two years earlier than sx nonsmoking nno. If you need help quitting, try nicotine gum or patches or ask your doctor more the drugs bupropion Zyban or varenicline Chantix.
Use alcohol in moderation. Some men with erectile dysfunction find that having one drink can help them relax, but heavy use of alcohol sex make matters worse. Alcohol can inhibit sexual reflexes by dulling the central nervous system. Drinking large amounts over a long period can damage the liver, leading to an dex in estrogen sex in men. In women, alcohol can trigger hot flashes sdx disrupt sleep, compounding problems already present in menopause.
Eat right. Overindulgence in fatty foods leads to high blood cholesterol and obesity—both major risk factors for cardiovascular disease. In addition, being overweight can promote lethargy and a poor body image. Increased libido is often an added benefit of losing those extra pounds.
Use it or lose it. When estrogen drops at menopause, the vaginal walls lose some of their elasticity. You can slow more process or even reverse it through sexual activity. For men, long periods without an erection can deprive the penis of a sex of the oxygen-rich blood it needs to maintain good sexual functioning. As a result, something akin to scar tissue develops in muscle cells, which interferes with the ability of the penis to expand when blood flow is increased.
Even in the best relationship, sex can become ho-hum after a number of years.i marie the art of anal sex.