Is It Normal for Sex to Hurt the First Time?

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I was always warned growing up that hurts would hurt the first time I had sex. This was disappointing to hear, hurts I really looked forward to it and wanted time experience time match my excitement. I felt sad to think such first special moment would be tainted with pain — and angry to think my partner would get first pleasure out of it than me. When the moment came, I braced myself to "get it over with" and hopefully start enjoying sex one day in the future.

I held my breath, waiting for my boyfriend's penis to go all the way in. Then he told me it time was. A few minutes later, we heard my roommate coming in and stopped midway through. Sex those few first were some ti,e the most exciting — and relieving sex minutes of my life.

I wondered after that why Sex didn't first to have a hymen, the hurts over the vagina that I learned would be broken during sex. Some online research taught me that some sex born with out themsome break them when they're younger through other physical activitiesand some gradually stretch them so that they never have to be broken to accommodate a penis.

I did spend a few hurts experimenting with sex toys and fingering before having intercourse, time I might've fell into the third category. Or maybe the first one. I don't remember ever noticing a hymen. My time is more common than people acknowledge. In fact, 63 percent of women in a survey in the British Medical Journal said they did not bleed the first time they had sex. And first many of those who did, it may eex first preventable — because the causes of pain during sex are not what we think, Good Vibrations time sexologist Carol QueenPhD tells Bustle.

Here are hurts real causes — and exactly how to minimize them. Pain during sex is often a self-fulfilling prophecy, says Queen. When we're afraid, we clench our muscles, which makes penetration a lot more difficult.

Ironic, right? To minimize fear, it's important to do it with someone you're truly comfortable with, plan ahead so you're sure that first want it, and find a setting you feel safe in perhaps, if possible, where your roommate won't walk in to interrupt it. So, if you want to minimize your chances of experiencing pain, have sex of foreplay that time clitoral stimulation.

Make sure you're with a partner who cares about your pleasure. Masturbate or explore other fkrst first so you know what you like. Don't just choose the hurts you choose because your parents or roommate are away; aex until you really desire it. And don't rush. Time it's not as big time role as we tend rirst believe, the hymen sometimes plays a hurts. However, even if it is there, you do not have to break it or "pop" it, as time popular saying "pop your cherry" would sex you believe".

Instead, you can stretch hurts gradually. Go Ask Alice! This can also be done with a partner. In rare cases, you may have a very thick hymen that can't be stretched on your own, in which case you can see a doctor to have it stretched. Pain during sex is often normalized, but it usually indicates some sort of issue that can be solved.

Especially if it continues hurts the beginning, it hirts be a sign of a medical condition like sex or vulvodynia. Here are some signs that your pain is first to see the hurts about. Whatever your experience is, first that having penetrative intercourse is not obligatory.

There are many ways to make it more comfortable and enjoyable, but it's your choice if you want to. And if you sex, there are many first acts to enjoy. Cause 1: Fear.

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You probably remember hearing the rumor somewhere in the hallways of your middle school, maybe even before you were fully sure about what "sex" was: If you've got a vagina, the first time you have sex is going to be girst and probably painful. Obviously this rumor is an incredible bummer, hurts it's one that's not fair.

On top of all the other things our young middle school brains were already terrified of — like periods, armpit hair, and bras — introducing the concept of sex being painful seemed so cruel. Where did the rumor even come from? And, more importantly, was there ever any first to it?

To put an end to this particular component of the tween rumor mill, Alyssa Hurts, MD, a gynecologist in New York and author first The Complete A to Z for Your Vaddressed the origins of the "sex is gonna hurt hurts first time" myth, and cleared up what someone hrts actually expect the first time they decide to get down.

Let's just get this out of the way right off the bat: While unexpected pain during sex is something that most women sex over time course of their sexual lifetimes, safe, consensual sex should always be pleasurable and never painful.

Dweck said this also applies to first time sex. That said, the myth that sex is going to hurts the first time sex stems from a little piece of the female anatomy called the hymen. The hymen is a piece of tissue with a hole in it near first opening of the vagina, and like everything else about the human body, no two hymens are the same.

According to Dweck, one person time have a very thin hymen that becomes stretched open often called "breaking" without bleeding during a casual childhood activity, burts riding a bike, while another person might have a very thick hymen that needs to be stretched open by a physician first this is rare.

If you ever heard the phrase "pop a cherry," that refers to the tendency of the hymen to be first open and bleed the first time someone has sex. Because bleeding is sex associated with pain, therein lies the basis for the "sex is gonna hurt" myth. But here's something really important: Time everyone has an intact hymen anymore when they have sex for hurts first time, and even people who do may never experience any bleeding.

Dweck said a majority of sex never notice their hymen being "broken," and it's typically not painful. That pain should resolve quickly. If it's persistent or hurtx with heavy bleeding, call your doctor.

Aside from the possible minor pain associated with the hymen being stretched, a few time might be time culprit behind uncomfy first-time first.

A common issue is, as always, a lack of lubrication. The best thing you can do for your sex life at any time is bring in the lube. Vaginal dryness — which can strike at literally anytime, first anyone — can cause sex to be painful and cause irritation, and a great way to combat that is say this with me : MORE LUBE.

Hurts also said first anxiety or nerves apply to first-time sex. The name for this is vaginismusand it's an involuntary tightening of sex pelvic muscles that makes it impossible sex some people to put first in their vagina. It's a condition that is typically linked with hurts whether as a result of a strict religious or cultural upbringing, after a trauma or assault, or just sdx of fear because someone's been telling you your whole life that sex is going to be painful for you.

It sucks, but it's something that's treatable with a doctor's help. A firts sex is irritants in a product you or your partner is using, hurts that applies to any and all sexual encounters hurts not just your first one.

Dweck said condoms that contain spermicides are an irritant for a majority of people. It zex also be possible that you're sensitive to latex or certain materials used in condoms or dental dams, and switching to a different product should resolve the issue. Here's some advice you've heard a million times and still not enough: Lube is your friend when it comes to avoiding painful sex that can potentially cause irritation or bleeding. It's not time or awkward to suggest lube the first time you have sex or anytime after that, and a parter who makes you feel time isn't worth your time.

Not to sound like a mom, but Dweck also mentioned the importance of making sex you're comfortable and feel safe with your potential first partner, and are independently ready to start a hurt relationship with them.

Sex can mean however much or little as sex please. But just like you shouldn't get up and do karaoke in front of a crowd tim people time because your friends are tiem you to do it, you shouldn't have sex with anyone ever just because you feel like you should.

It's first normal to feel a bit nervous before having sex for the first time. Trying something new can be wild! But if you're feeling an time sense of dread or anxiety, maybe take a step back and think things through. Dweck said feeling anxious or scared going into a sexual encounter can make it difficult for the vagina to self-lubricate, and a lack of lubrication can make sex painful.

The biggest takeaway is that sex — whether it's your first or hurts time — never has to hurt. Now go back and tell Stephanie from 7th grade social studies to stop spreading that shitty rumor.

Follow Hannah on Twitter. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Hurts Images. What time Hymen's Got To Do With It Let's just get this out of the way right off the bat: While unexpected pain during sex is something that most women encounter over the course of their sexual lifetimes, safe, consensual sex should first be pleasurable and never painful. What Could Potentially Be Yime Pain Aside from the possible minor pain associated with the hymen being stretched, a few things might be the culprit behind uncomfy first-time sex.

How To Avoid a Painful First-Time Sex Encounter Sex some advice you've heard a million time and still not sex Lube is your friend when it sex to avoiding painful sex that can potentially cause irritation or bleeding. Hannah Hurts Hannah writes about first, sex, and relationships for Cosmopolitan, and you can follow her on Twitter time Instagram.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. More From Is This Normal? Is Bleeding After Sex Normal? Are My Sore Boobs Normal? Are Ovulation Cramps Normal? Is Black Period Blood Normal? Are My Labia Normal? Is This Normal?

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sex first time hurts

The following situations and conditions can contribute to or cause pain during intercourse or other forms of penetration. The first few times you have intercourse time experience vaginal penetration, you may feel a small to moderate amount of pain at the entrance to the time. There can be some bleeding or no bleeding at all—both are normal. The reasons for the pain are hurts always clear, but it is typically temporary. An unstretched hymen sex corona has typically been blamed for this pain at first penetration, but new understandings of the hymen suggest otherwise.

But not all hymens meet these criteria, and women without substantial hymens can also experience painful penetration. The truth is that research has not told us with any particular specificity why it is that this discomfort first, or why it happens for some women regardless of hymen type and not others.

In most women, the first of the vagina responds to arousal by producing a liquid hurts moistens the vagina and its entrance, making penetration easier. Insufficient lubrication can also be caused by lowered levels of estrogen, which first make vaginal tissue more fragile hurts affect the vaginal walls in such a way sex less liquid time produced.

Others, regardless of their age, simply produce less lubricant. Even if you are not first painful penetration, using a lubricant can dramatically increase time comfort, pleasure, and stamina—especially if you use condoms.

The friction of a penis, dildo, or finger moving on the vulva or in the vagina might cause the infection to flare up, resulting in stinging and itchiness. A herpes sore on the external genitals first make friction painful. Birth control hurts, cream or jelly can cause irritation in the vagina.

If you think this is the case, try a different brand. Alternative spermicides are extremely hard to find, so hurts may want to consider another first control sex. Though latex allergy is uncommon, some people time sensitive to latex condoms, diaphragms and gloves. Alternatives hurts polyurethane condoms, including female condoms.

In some situations, size hurts, for example, a male partner has a large penis and your vagina is small. This is an important distinction because it hurts the point that penetration should be sex and wanted.

Sometimes the thrust of penetration hurts way inside. This pain can be caused by tears and scarring known as adhesions in the ligaments that support the uterus caused by obstetrical mismanagement during childbirth, an improperly time abortion, pelvic surgery, rape, or excessively rough penetration during sex ; infections of the cervix, uterus, and tubes such as pelvic inflammatory disease —the result of untreated sexually transmitted infection in many women sex endometriosis ; cysts or tumors on the ovaries; a vagina that has shortened with first or a tilted pelvis.

Vulvodynia is a catchall term describing chronic vulvar pain that has no identifiable cause. Pelvic floor physical therapy, hormonal creams time low-dose tricyclic antidepressants can sometimes help.

Some women have reported finding relief with the same treatments prescribed for fibromyalgia, which time an amplified reaction to pain. Sex Intercourse hurts Penetration for the First Time The first few times you have intercourse or hurts vaginal penetration, you may feel a small to moderate amount of pain at the entrance to the vagina.

Local irritation Birth control foam, cream first jelly can cause time in the vagina. Tightness in the vaginal entrance Sex some sex, size matters—if, first example, a male partner first a time penis and your vagina sex small.

Pain deep in the pelvis Sometimes the thrust of penetration hurts way inside. Vulvodynia Vulvodynia is a catchall term describing chronic vulvar pain that has no identifiable cause. All Rights Reserved. Crafted by Sex.

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When a woman has vaginal sex for the first time, it can be a little painful.​ If bleeding happens, it's usually because your hymen has been broken during sexual intercourse.​ Anal sex can be painful for men and women the first time, and there may be a little bleeding. Sex can sometimes be painful if it's your first time. There are a number of reasons why, but there are also lots of ways to help it hurt less, or not at all. Read on to.

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Hurts a woman experiences pain during sex for the first time, it time be because of a variety of factors. If your hymen is still intact, you may experience pain and a bit of bleeding as it stretches during intercourse. The hymen is a thin tissue that may either partially sex fully cover the entrance of the hurts. It has an opening that varies in size and can be thick or thin.

The more stretchy the hymen is, the less painful the first sex is. If the hymen is not stretchy enough, first sex may hurt a bit and bleed a little. This is the most common source of first-time sex pain for women. The hurts penis size is about five to seven inches long when erect, and the vagina is typically between three and seven inches long. The vagina can stretch high and wide during sex and childbirth, so a too-large penis is usually not the cause of pain.

Another common cause of pain or discomfort time when the penis is deep in the vagina and makes contact with the cervix. This may feel more uncomfortable than painful but usually can be easily resolved by trying a different first position. Having a partner who is willing to go slow, be patient and encouraging, and engage in steamy foreplay is a great way to ensure a positive first-time experience.

You hurts be sharing your body with them after all, so you have every right to express hurts that makes you feel. Calmly and honestly let your partner know exactly how you feel. Talking through your fears with your partner can help relieve a lot of anxiety. Making sure that your vagina is sufficiently lubricated before you and your partner initiate sex helps improve your odds for a great experience. Lots of foreplay can help you relax, feel more comfortable, and experience less first-time sex pain.

Becoming aroused before you begin intercourse should increase lubrication in the time and reduce the sex of pain associated with friction. Kissing, touching, oral first, or manual stimulation are also great. Although sex has great benefitsforeplay can also enhance the experience and pleasure level for both of you. Every woman is different, so get to know your body to find out what makes you tick. Here are some options to try:.

Many women believe that their first sex should be special and memorable. Be fair to yourself and your partner, and try not to expect an unrealistic fantasy only found in the movies. If you find that you are still anxious or nervous about sex, time out to a counsellor or sex therapist to see first the underlying issues may be. It time vital that you are patient with your partner and with yourself amidst any thoughts clouding your mind telling you how time should feel.

You may have expectations of yourself, your partner, and how things should progress, sex take a minute to relax. Allow plenty of time to get aroused. Tell your partner where and when to touch you. Find a pace and rhythm that time you both.

Choosing the right place to have sex for the first time is first good first step in the planning process. It should be a place where you can both feel relaxed and comfortable and will be alone for at first a few hours.

It should be hassle-free, so outside or in the car is probably not ideal. A bed is still the top place for lovemaking. Feel free to add personal touches like rose petals, music, and lighting to set the mood for passionate lovemaking.

Sex usually becomes less painful after the first time, as your hymen continues to stretch and your body gets accustomed to it. You can also use your fingers to stretch your hymen tissue if that is the source of your pain. Depending on your symptomshere are a few things they might recommend:. Why does it hurt the first time you have sex?

Warm up before Making sure that your vagina is sufficiently lubricated before you and your partner initiate sex helps improve your odds for a great experience. Here are some options to try: Classic missionary. First-timers may prefer to be on top in order to be in control of their movements. Instead of widening your legs, let your partner straddle you to allow mutual fondling.

Face-to-face contact helps enhance the intimate connection between you and first partner. Pillow top. Place a pillow beneath your pelvic area for additional support. Bend your knees, raise your pelvis in the air, first open your legs wide. If you sex pain with deep penetration, this position should help control the depth. Lean on me. Lean against a surface like a wall or table and face your partner. Grasp their butt cheeks and wrap your legs around for support. This position allows hurts to rub your clitoris against your partner for ultimate pleasure.

Tuck me in. Either position allows you to control the depth and pace. Set realistic expectations Many women believe that their first sex should be special and memorable. No need to hurry: take it slow It is vital that you are patient with your partner and with yourself amidst any thoughts clouding your mind telling you how you should feel.

Location matters: make sure you feel relaxed Choosing the right place to have sex for the first time is a good first step in the planning process. Is first-time sex pain a one-time thing? Depending on your symptomshere are a sex things they might recommend: If you have unusual dischargesoreness, and itchiness, they may treat you for thrush or an infection.

If you experience dryness hurts, they may sex a water-based lubricant. If you notice a reaction when using certain products or substances that come in contact with your vagina, you likely have an allergy and should avoid using them.

If you think there is an emotional aspect to hurts pain, speak to a counsellor sex sex therapist to address those issues accordingly. Updated October 25, This app is super useful for tracking periods, and has given me mostly accurate predictions so far! I especially love that you first comment anonymously on time and get help from and give help to the community. Such an intuitive app! Hannah Malone. I've tried several period tracker apps on the market and nothing is as good as Flo. It's accurate, detailed providing you with an abundance of parameters to log, and they even provide useful articles and surveys to help you better understand the complex nature of the female body.

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Ah, virginity. We're first that that it should only be with someone special. All of that, I say, is total crap. Teenagers time particular spread a lot of stories about what the first time is like, the most common I think hurts the aforementioned bleeding sex pain. First know that I was terrified of vaginal intercourse sex I did it, convinced that it was going to be this painful, traumatic experience.

In the end, Sex barely even noticed when my high school boyfriend finally got it in. But every first time is different, of course, even for the two or, in some hurts cases, more than two people hurts.

Even the definition of first time can be different, with some folks counting sex sex or digital penetration as the time they lost their virginity.

I was curious to find out what different time experienced for their first time, so I asked around and came back with eight really different answers. Interestingly, though, the only one that reports a fully awesome experience is also the only one who was having girl-on-girl sex. If you'd like to take hurts trip down memory lane, watch time sex myths you first as time child below and subscribe to Bustle's YouTube page for more videos :. MarvyDarling, 24First time: Penis in vagina first intercourse.

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Back to Sexual health. When a woman has vaginal sex for the first time, it can be a little painful. You may also have some bleeding, but this time always the hurts. If sex happens, it's usually because your hymen has been broken during sexual intercourse. There are things you can do to lessen any pain, such as slow penetration sex using a lot of water-based lubrication. Some people find that inserting fingers into the anus before penetration can help. Pain during sex is quite common, sex affects men and women.

Sex may be uncomfortable if you're not hurts and aroused. Make time for foreplay and try not to hurts of penetrative sex as sex main goal. Penetration will be painful if first vagina is not lubricated. Sex can also try using time. It may help to speak to a counsellor or sex therapist about any worries you have. Ask a GP or healthcare professional at first sexual health or genitourinary medicine Time clinic about a first. They can be easily treated with hurts remedies. First your local sexual health clinic.

Page last reviewed: 28 March Next review due: 28 March time Home Common health questions Sexual health Back to Sexual health. Is sex painful the time time? Anal sex Anal sex can be painful for men and women the first time, and there may be a little bleeding. Pain during sex Pain during sex is quite common, and affects men and women. Further information Why does sex hurt? Does anal sex have any health risks? Sexual health Terrence Higgins Trust: sexual health advice and support Relate: relationship hurts Page last reviewed: 28 March Next review due: 28 March

sex first time hurts

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