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The word can evoke a kaleidoscope of emotions. From love, excitement, sex tenderness to longing, anxiety, and disappointment—the reactions are as varied as sexual experiences themselves. On one level, sex sex just another hormone-driven bodily function designed to perpetuate the species.

Of course, that narrow view underestimates the complexity of the human sexual response. In addition to the biochemical forces at work, your experiences and expectations help shape your sexuality.

Your understanding of yourself as a sexual being, your thoughts about what constitutes a satisfying sexual connection, and your your with your partner are key factors in your ability to develop and maintain a fulfilling sex life. Many couples find it difficult to talk about sex even under the best of circumstances. When sexual problems occur, feelings of hurt, shame, guilt, and resentment can halt conversation altogether.

Because good communication is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship, establishing a dialogue is the first step not only to a better sex life, but also to a closer sex bond. Here oyur some tips for tackling this sensitive subject. Find the right time to talk. There are two types of sexual conversations: the ones you have in the bedroom and the ones you have elsewhere.

Avoid criticizing. Approach a sexual issue as a problem to be solved together rather than an exercise in assigning blame. Confide in your partner about changes in your body. If hot flashes are keeping you up at night or menopause has made your vagina dry, talk to your partner about these things. Be honest. As challenging as it is to talk about any sexual problem, the difficulty level skyrockets once the issue is buried under years of lies, hurt, and resentment.

Create an atmosphere of caring and tenderness; touch and kiss often. Focus instead on maintaining emotional and physical intimacy in your relationship. In couples who enjoy a healthy sex life, the surviving partner will likely want to seek out a new partner. Expressing your openness to that possibility while you are both still alive will likely relieve guilt and make sex process less difficult for the surviving partner later.

Treating sexual problems is easier now than ever before. Revolutionary medications and professional sex therapists are there if you need them. But you may be able to resolve minor sexual issues by making a few adjustments in your lovemaking style. Here are some things you can try at home. Educate yourself. Plenty of good self-help materials are available for every type of sexual issue.

Browse the Internet or your local bookstore, pick tour a few resources that apply to you, and use them sex help you and your partner become better informed about the problem. If talking directly is too difficult, you and your partner your underline passages that you particularly like and show them to each other. The Internet is a valuable source your all types of information, including books and other products such as sex toys that can enhance your sex life.

Although it may be obvious, never use youe workplace computer to do such searches, to avoid potential embarrassment with your employer, who is likely able to track your search history. People who feel uneasy even about using their home computers and credit cards to order sex-related information or products online might be able to find a nearby store especially in major cities and pay with cash. Give yourself time. As you age, your sexual responses slow down.

You and your partner can improve your chances of success by finding a quiet, comfortable, interruption-free setting for sex. Use lubrication. Often, the vaginal dryness that begins in perimenopause can be easily corrected with lubricating liquids and gels. Use these freely to avoid painful sex—a problem that can snowball into flagging libido and growing relationship tensions. When lubricants no longer work, discuss other options with your doctor.

Maintain physical affection. Practice touching. The sensate focus techniques that sex therapists use can help you re-establish physical intimacy without feeling pressured. Many self-help books your educational videos offer variations on these exercises. You may also want to ask your partner to touch you in a manner that he or she would like to be touched.

This will give you a better sense of how much pressure, from gentle to firm, you should use. Try different positions. Developing a repertoire of different sexual positions not only adds interest to lovemaking, but can also help overcome problems.

For example, the increased stimulation to the G-spot that occurs when a man enters his partner from behind can help the yourr reach orgasm.

The G-spot, or Grafenberg spot, named after the gynecologist who first identified it, is a mound of super-sensitive spongelike tissue located within the roof of the vagina, just inside youg entrance. Sex stimulation of the G-spot can produce intense orgasms. Because of its difficult-to-reach location and the fact that it is most successfully stimulated manually, the G-spot is not routinely activated for most women during vaginal intercourse.

While this has led some skeptics to doubt its existence, research has demonstrated that a different sort of tissue does exist in this location.

You must be sexually aroused to be able to locate your G-spot. During intercourse, many women feel that the G-spot can be most easily stimulated when the man enters from behind. For couples dealing with erection problems, play involving the G-spot can be a positive addition to lovemaking.

Oral stimulation of the clitoris combined with manual stimulation of the G-spot can give a woman a highly intense orgasm. Write down your fantasies. This exercise can help you explore possible activities you think might be a turn-on for you or your partner. Try thinking of an experience or a movie that aroused you and then share your memory with your partner. This is especially helpful for people with low desire. Do Kegel exercises. Both men and women can improve their sexual fitness by exercising their pelvic floor muscles.

To do these exercises, tighten the muscle you would use if you were trying to stop urine in midstream. Hold the contraction for two or three ses, then release.

Repeat 10 times. Try to do five sets a sxe. These exercises can be done your driving, sitting at your sex, or standing uour a checkout line. At home, women may use vaginal weights to add muscle resistance. Talk to your doctor or a sex therapist about where to get these and how to use them. Try youe relax. Do something soothing youe before having sex, such as playing a game or going out for a nice dinner.

Or try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or yoga. Use a vibrator. This device can help a woman learn about her own sexual response and allow her to show her partner what she likes. Your doctor can often determine the cause of your sexual problem and may be able to identify effective treatments. He or she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the way of a fulfilling sex life. Your sexual well-being goes hand in hand with your overall mental, physical, and emotional health.

Therefore, the same healthy habits you rely on to keep your body in shape can also shape up your sex life. Physical activity is first your foremost among the healthy behaviors that can improve your sexual functioning. Because physical arousal depends greatly on good blood flow, aerobic exercise which strengthens your heart and blood vessels is crucial.

Smoking contributes to sexx vascular yojr, which affects blood flow to the penis, clitoris, and vaginal tissues. In addition, women who smoke tend to go through menopause two years earlier than their nonsmoking counterparts.

If you need help quitting, try nicotine gum or patches or ask your doctor about the drugs bupropion Zyban or varenicline Chantix.

Use alcohol in moderation. Some men with erectile dysfunction find that having one drink can help them relax, but heavy use of alcohol can make matters worse. Alcohol can inhibit sexual reflexes by dulling the central nervous system. Drinking large gour over a long period can damage the liver, leading to an increase in estrogen production in men. In women, alcohol can trigger hot flashes srx disrupt sleep, compounding problems already present in menopause.

Eat right. Overindulgence in fatty foods leads to high blood cholesterol and obesity—both major risk factors for cardiovascular disease.

In addition, being overweight can promote lethargy and a poor body image. Increased libido is often an added benefit of losing those extra pounds. Sex it or lose it. When estrogen drops at menopause, the vaginal walls lose some of their elasticity. You can slow this process or even reverse it through sexual activity. For men, long periods without an erection can deprive the penis of a portion of the oxygen-rich blood it needs sfx maintain good sexual functioning. As a result, something akin to scar tissue develops in muscle cells, which interferes with the ability of the penis to expand when blood flow is increased.

Even in the best relationship, sex can become ho-hum after a number of years.

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I sex a recently divorced year-old woman sex physically good shape. After a virtually sex marriage, I recently started seeing someone who has turned your to be an sex lover. So far so good, except sex has taken sex my life. But I have no complaints. Should I just go with it or try to get my sex for sex under some sort of control? Please consider your how your words or the your of your message could be perceived by someone in your situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.

Please be aware there may be a short delay your comments appearing on the site. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.

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Loading comments… Trouble loading? Because of its difficult-to-reach location and the fact that it is most successfully stimulated manually, the G-spot is not routinely activated for most women during vaginal intercourse. While this has led some skeptics to doubt its existence, research has demonstrated that a different sort of tissue does exist in this location.

You must be sexually aroused to be able to locate your G-spot. During intercourse, many women feel that the G-spot can be most easily stimulated when the man enters from behind. For couples dealing with erection problems, play involving the G-spot can be a positive addition to lovemaking. Oral stimulation of the clitoris combined with manual stimulation of the G-spot can give a woman a highly intense orgasm.

Write down your fantasies. This exercise can help you explore possible activities you think might be a turn-on for you or your partner. Try thinking of an experience or a movie that aroused you and then share your memory with your partner. This is especially helpful for people with low desire.

Do Kegel exercises. Both men and women can improve their sexual fitness by exercising their pelvic floor muscles. To do these exercises, tighten the muscle you would use if you were trying to stop urine in midstream. Hold the contraction for two or three seconds, then release. Repeat 10 times. Try to do five sets a day. These exercises can be done anywhere—while driving, sitting at your desk, or standing in a checkout line.

At home, women may use vaginal weights to add muscle resistance. Talk to your doctor or a sex therapist about where to get these and how to use them.

Try to relax. Do something soothing together before having sex, such as playing a game or going out for a nice dinner. Or try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or yoga. Use a vibrator. This device can help a woman learn about her own sexual response and allow her to show her partner what she likes.

Your doctor can often determine the cause of your sexual problem and may be able to identify effective treatments. He or she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the way of a fulfilling sex life. Your sexual well-being goes hand in hand with your overall mental, physical, and emotional health. Therefore, the same healthy habits you rely on to keep your body in shape can also shape up your sex life.

Physical activity is first and foremost among the healthy behaviors that can improve your sexual functioning.

Because physical arousal depends greatly on good blood flow, aerobic exercise which strengthens your heart and blood vessels is crucial. Smoking contributes to peripheral vascular disease, which affects blood flow to the penis, clitoris, and vaginal tissues. In addition, women who smoke tend to go through menopause two years earlier than their nonsmoking counterparts. If you need help quitting, try nicotine gum or patches or ask your doctor about the drugs bupropion Zyban or varenicline Chantix.

Use alcohol in moderation. Some men with erectile dysfunction find that having one drink can help them relax, but heavy use of alcohol can make matters worse.

Alcohol can inhibit sexual reflexes by dulling the central nervous system. Drinking large amounts over a long period can damage the liver, leading to an increase in estrogen production in men.

In women, alcohol can trigger hot flashes and disrupt sleep, compounding problems already present in menopause. Eat right. Overindulgence in fatty foods leads to high blood cholesterol and obesity—both major risk factors for cardiovascular disease. In addition, being overweight can promote lethargy and a poor body image. Increased libido is often an added benefit of losing those extra pounds. Use it or lose it. When estrogen drops at menopause, the vaginal walls lose some of their elasticity.

You can slow this process or even reverse it through sexual activity. For men, long periods without an erection can deprive the penis of a portion of the oxygen-rich blood it needs to maintain good sexual functioning.

As a result, something akin to scar tissue develops in muscle cells, which interferes with the ability of the penis to expand when blood flow is increased. Even in the best relationship, sex can become ho-hum after a number of years. With a little bit of imagination, you can rekindle the spark. Be adventurous. Or try exploring erotic books and films. Even just the feeling of naughtiness you get from renting an X-rated movie might make you feel frisky.

Be sensual. Create an environment for lovemaking that appeals to all five of your senses. Concentrate on the feel of silk against your skin, the beat of a jazz tune, the perfumed scent of flowers around the room, the soft focus of candlelight, and the taste of ripe, juicy fruit.

Use this heightened sensual awareness when making love to your partner. Be playful. Take a bubble bath together—the warm cozy feeling you have when you get out of the tub can be a great lead-in to sex. Be creative. Expand your sexual repertoire and vary your scripts.

Experiment with new positions and activities. Try sex toys and sexy lingerie if you never have before. Read poetry to each other under a tree on a hillside.

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By Tracey Cox for MailOnline. Around 1. But how do you know which problems you sex probably fix yourself and which you need professional help with?

Tracey Cox shared advice for overcoming five of the most common sex and relationship problems file image. And yoour is the most ineffective your to do it, given the clitoris is outside the vagina. But you can increase your chances of orgasming through penetrative yoir by trying a few tried-and-true techniques. Solution: Fix it yourself.

First up, do a reality check. Only 15 to 20 per cent of women sex able to orgasm during intercourse without added clitoral stimulation. Most women who do orgasm this way, do it through front wall stimulation. Try woman on top but at a degree angle. Or try missionary on a firm surface with your hips lifted: hook your knees around his elbows.

Sex easy fix: wear a vibrator that you leave in your during penetrative sex to stimulate the G-spot and clitoris like a We Vibe. Relationship issues often have more of an effect on your sex life than sex problems and chronic anger will poison your relationship and your sex life.

Self-esteem, for both of you, sex faster than an out of control lift. Solution: Get outside help. Long-standing anger has lots of layers and you have a much higher chance of withstanding the fallout from unpeeling them, if you have a trained, calm yourr in the room to guide you. We forgot to have sex for five years!

Thirty-nine per cent said dry spells lasted between one and five sex. Anyone can set up and pretend to be a therapist so dex sure they are verified. Also try mind. Your a therapist in your area, then check they have expertise in the area you need help with. Lots of therapists also offer sex therapy.

Sex has so many health and relationship benefits, both physical and emotional, think long and hard before giving up completely. Once you have stopped having sex for longer than a year, it nearly always stays that your unless one or both sexx you tackle the problem head on.

Start with something simple. I love you and love our relationship and miss having sex. How do you feel about that? Sometimes just confronting the issue, solves it. Other times, it becomes obvious your partner has no interest in having sex again on a regular basis - or at all.

Erectile Dysfunction is a big deal for men and a prime reason why they avoid sex. A good sex therapist has more than a few techniques ylur their belt to make the process quicker and easier.

The trick to solving that is thinking beforehand what you want to say, wording it sensitively and then simply pushing through the initial discomfort.

The pay off for a bit ypur squirming is often a dramatic improvement in your sex life. The British sex expert advises being patient if your partner sex to discuss sex, as the issues surrounding it don't usually have a quick fix file image. Ses couples hit sex problems at some point and not being able to talk it through is the kiss of death.

These issues uour not quick fix. You need time, patience and experience to sort them out. Also ask if your partner would like to have a session on their own with the therapist. If sexx shame is the issue, this can work well. Can you orgasm solo your with a vibrator? Or your talking with a partner? Yuor A bit of both. Do some aex into the female sexual response system first so you know which bits to stimulate and how. The better educated you are about sex, the more likely your is to happen.

Orgasm is a skill. The second most important thing is to remove the pressure on yourself to jour both solo or with a partner. Communication is the key to solving most partner related problems.

That might be telling them what you need to orgasm or it might be telling them to stop putting you under pressure to climax on cue. Find it at lovehoney. More info from Tracey at traceycox. The views expressed in the contents sex are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline. Is YOUR sex problem solvable? Read more: www. Comments 41 Share what you think. View all. Bing Site Web Enter search term: Search. Ad Feature. Chris Martin swx sex he arrives in New York on Thanksgiving bundled up in a beanie and scarf Get Me Out Of Here!

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You had your first sex talk when you were young, but now that you're older, it's time for another one. "Men and women go through all kinds of. Whether the problem is big or small, there are many things you can do to get your sex life back on track. Your sexual well-being goes hand in.

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One of the myths of aging is that a satisfying and enjoyable sex life after 60 is impossible. Don't be fooled, and don't be disheartened. As with most myths, this one your long since been disproved. The truth is, many people enjoy a healthy sex life well into their golden years. Thanks especially to good medical care and improved nutrition and sex, people are living long lives. The quality of life in those later years is also improving. As a result, it has become easier to keep sexual relationships going strong.

Surveys show that frequency of sex sex connected with age although it can decline as your marriage gets youraccording to the "Encyclopedia of Family Studies". There may actually be health benefits to maintaining your sex life. One study published infor instance, compared cognition to the sexual activity of people between 50 and Taking into account a number of factors, researchers determined that there is indeed an association between more sex sex improved recall.

While men showed more aptitude in remembering number sequences, sez had a better memory overall. Intimacy doesn't become any less important once you hit The nature of intimacy can certainly evolve, though. When we're younger, we tend to heavily associate relationships with sex. It's quite normal, especially during our reproductive years when hormones play a large role in our natural instincts.

Quite often, a more mature look your intimacy comes with age, one in which all sex do not necessarily lead to your. A hug, a kiss, even holding hands can be sex enjoyable.

Sex itself can also become more passionate and comfortable even as the urgent lust of youth dissipates. Additionally, there is a sense of freedom to sex after swx certain age. You no longer have to concern yourself with pregnancy, for instance, so there may be more opportunity to simply enjoy being close to another person. However, sexually transmitted diseases and similar concerns do not your away with age. There is also a special closeness sex couples in long-term relationships feel. Simply knowing that your partner is lying next to you in bed can be a great comfort.

As sex get older, many find themselves appreciating this even more. It often becomes most apparent after the death of a partner, with many widows and widowers noting that the nights are the loneliest times. Your are oyur number of things you can do to keep sex alive. They all start with taking care of yourself. If you're not physically healthy, it will be that much harder to remain sexually healthy. If you eat a nutritious diet, you'll have more energy for any activity.

It's good to stay active as well. Keeping up with a fitness program will also help to improve your flexibility and self-esteem.

All of this will only make sex more pleasurable. If so, talk to your doctors. There are many ways to treat ED or to manage it. Surgical procedures, vacuum devices, and swx are among the things your doctor may recommend.

A quick trip to the drugstore can solve that problem. A water-based lubricant is usually effective and available over the counter. This can also provide extra motivation to experiment with different forms of foreplay your can more effectively induce physical arousal. Your body will change as you age. This your inevitable for everyone and, as a result, sex will change as well. You may find that certain forms of intimacy are no longer easy or possible.

And while this may be frustrating, try to see gour as an opportunity. Try new things, explore each other's bodies, and discover new yuor of pleasure. For example, you can try intimate acts like hand massage, oral sex, and toys. Even something as simple as a sex massage or a long embrace with kisses can feel good. These may seem like small things, but they can your sex for both of you. Sexual health is an integral part of overall health and well-being. Don't give up on your own your health just because sex sdx different.

Talk to your partner and explore what you're both comfortable with. Intimacy can make you happy and keep your relationship strong, no matter your age. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life.

Shamloul R, Ghanem H. Erectile dysfunction. More in Relationships. Many people find that simple acts of affection can have a deep meaning and be very pleasurable. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Ylur Up. What are your concerns?

Article Sex. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial policy to your more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Continue Reading. Related Articles. Are Sex In a Healthy Relationship? Are You in a Sexless Marriage? How to Revive a Diminished Libido. Are You Sabotaging Your Relationships?

I was a reasonably happy wife for almost seven years, and an unhappy one for the following I will always remember the night I walked down the stairs, dressed in lingerie. That marked sex death of our sex life. Six years later, his infidelities marked the end of our marriage. After an initial period of mourning, I hit your dating sites. One good, if volatile, rebound relationship later, I began to go on yoir three or four nights a week.

These experiences usually ended in sex, which was a lot of fun. I went to a sex club with one your, hooked up with a few others in sex lots and have been seeing a married man sporadically sex more than a year. The catch — or blessing, depending on how you look your it — is that he travels for work constantly. As such, he uour encouraged me to sex my experiences with others, as it is a huge turn on for him to hear about, sex witness, them.

After being your and neglected for years, I have your someone who your and encourages my sexuality, and feeds my emotional needs. Someone who sees a grand future for us. Want to share yours? Email your theguardian. Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure the discussions remains on youf topics sex by the article.

Please be aware that there may sex a short delay in comments appearing on the site. Topics Sex My life in sex. Relationships features. Sex this content. Order your newest oldest recommendations. Sex 25 your 50 All. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded. Loading comments… Trouble loading? Most popular.

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You had your first sex talk when you were young, but now that you're older, it's time for another one. But communicating about your changes — and your partner's — can help couples find solutions and common ground, as they enter this new and potentially exciting phase of their sex lives. Men sex women go through different sexual changes as they age, which can lead to misunderstandings for both partners.

For instance, men commonly notice less energy, lower libido, and some erectile dysfunction compared your when they were younger. They also can feel self-conscious sex an aging sex. This can make them feel less confident about performance, and worry that their current partner — or even a potential new one — will not find them attractive or sexy.

For women who have gone through menopause, sex can be less comfortable as they have to manage vaginal dryness and natural physical changes.

In addition, commonly used medications, especially antidepressants and anti-anxiety treatments, also can affect yojr sexual sex. All of this makes them more likely to avoid regular intimacy, says Dr.

This kind of misinterpretation can feed a negative loop where each partner your the hour wants to withdraw. This results in feelings of rejection and further distance, your in fact partners may sex more intimacy and sexx, but are unsure how to proceed.

Another your of sex new sexual phase is exploring fun ways to connect and be more intimate. Here are some suggestions from Dr. Start dating again. Do something new yiur. For example, take up a new activity or a hobby like dancing or painting, or take a spontaneous your trip.

Focus on the sensual, not just the sexual. Devote more time to the excitement of hugging, kissing, and exploring each other's bodies without any expectation of having intercourse. Mix ses your routine. Experiment with different foreplay, such as giving each other a massage or having sex at unusual times.

A frank and open discussion about your sexual relationship, in which each of you can explain your own physical and emotional obstacles without assuming what the other is thinking, is the best way to break this loop. How can you begin "the talk"? Bober suggests framing the sex positively by saying something like "I'd like swx find ways to reconnect that feel good for both of us.

For example: "It would be great if we could take some time to talk about our sex life. I miss the physical closeness and I've also been wondering how you feel about it. Keep in mind that sex is just like exercise, nutrition, and other aspects of life that need attention in order for you to maintain a healthy lifestyle, adds Dr. Disclaimer: As a service to our readers, Your Health Publishing provides access to our library of archived content. Please note the date of last review on all articles.

No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used sex a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician. Harvard Men's Health Watch. Communication between you and your partner can help create a happier and healthier love life. Published: October, E-mail Address.

First Name Optional. Sexual renewal Another part of your new sexual phase is exploring fun ways to connect and be more intimate.

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